What Sets Happy Couples Apart? 幸福伴侣有什么不同？

Are happy couples just naturally more compatible? Or do they do something differently that makes their marriage happier? The truth is, it’s a mix of both. While some couples may have an easier time due to personality compatibility, the good news is that happiness in marriage is not purely based on luck. If you and your spouse are facing challenges, you are not doomed to unhappiness—you have the power to improve your relationship.

幸福的伴侣天生就更合拍吗？还是他们做了什么不同的事情，让婚姻更加幸福？事实是，这两者兼而有之。虽然有些夫妻可能因为个性相合而更容易相处，但好消息是，婚姻的幸福并非完全取决于运气。如果你和伴侣正面临挑战，不代表你们注定不幸福——你们有能力改善关系。

So, what are the characteristics that set happy couples apart from unhappy ones? Research over the last 40+ years from Prepare/Enrich has identified five key factors that contribute to a happy marriage:

那么，是什么让幸福的夫妻与不幸福的夫妻有所不同呢？在过去40多年的研究中，Prepare/Enrich 发现了决定婚姻幸福的五个关键因素：

1. You Both Feel Good About How You Communicate

你们对彼此的沟通方式感到满意

No surprise here—good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. But it’s not just about talking; it’s about being a good listener, understanding nonverbal cues, and responding with empathy. If you and your spouse communicate well, you can navigate challenges more smoothly.

不出意外，良好的沟通是坚固婚姻的基石。但沟通不仅仅是交谈，它还包括倾听、理解非语言信号，并用同理心回应。如果你们的沟通顺畅，就能更好地应对婚姻中的挑战。

2. You Feel Emotionally Connected

你们之间有深厚的情感联结

Happy couples prioritize spending time together and truly enjoy each other’s company. They are part of each other’s inner world and share their thoughts and emotions freely. This emotional closeness strengthens the relationship and fosters intimacy.

幸福的夫妻会把相处时间放在优先位置，并真正享受彼此的陪伴。他们是对方内心世界的一部分，能自由地分享自己的想法和情绪。这种情感上的亲密感能加深关系并增强亲密度。

3. You’re Flexible When Facing Problems

遇到问题时，你们能灵活应对

Life throws unexpected challenges at every couple. Happy couples can adapt to change, crises, and stressors by adjusting their relationship roles when necessary. The key is that this flexibility is temporary—eventually, they return to their normal, stable patterns.

生活总会带来意想不到的挑战。幸福的伴侣能够灵活调整，在面对变化、危机或压力时做出适应性的调整。关键在于，这种调整是暂时的，最终他们会恢复到稳定的状态。

4. You Like Each Other’s Personality

你们欣赏彼此的性格

This might feel out of your control—after all, personalities don’t change much over time. However, what you can control is how you view your partner’s traits. Instead of trying to change each other, happy couples learn to accept and appreciate their partner—even the quirks that sometimes annoy them.

这可能让人觉得无法掌控——毕竟，个性不会轻易改变。然而，你可以控制的是如何看待伴侣的性格特点。幸福的夫妻不会试图改变对方，而是学会接受并欣赏对方，即便是那些偶尔让自己抓狂的小毛病。

5. You Feel Understood During Conflict

争吵时，你们依然能够相互理解

Every couple argues, but happy couples handle conflict differently. They create emotional safety by listening, showing empathy, and avoiding defensive reactions. Instead of escalating arguments, they work to de-escalate and understand each other’s perspectives.

每对夫妻都会有争执，但幸福的夫妻处理冲突的方式有所不同。他们会通过倾听、共情和避免防御性反应来创造情感安全感。与其让争吵升级，他们更倾向于缓和冲突，并努力理解对方的观点。

Takeaway: You Can Improve Your Marriage

总结：你可以提升你的婚姻幸福感

So there you have it—the five characteristics that set happy couples apart from unhappy ones. While compatibility does play a role, most of these factors are things you can actively work on. If you’re going through a tough season in your marriage, don’t lose heart—happiness is not out of reach.

以上就是幸福夫妻与不幸福夫妻的五大区别。虽然个性匹配确实起到了一定作用，但大多数关键因素都是可以通过努力改善的。如果你们的婚姻正处于低谷，不要灰心——幸福并非遥不可及。